Geekspertise

Aftermath of Yesterday’s Panic Attack

So, I had a pretty intense panic attack yesterday, and today I’m still feeling the effects. For those of you who have never had a panic attack, you need to understand that it can take a while for a person’s body to recover from that shock.

Yesterday, my chest and upper back were sore for at least 5-6 hours after the panic subsided. Obviously, the soreness in my chest was from the violent, rapid heart rate. While I was having the panic attack, muscles all over my body became tense, and there were also some muscle spasms. This, of course, affected my injured right rotator cuff, and it proceeded to throb until I broke down and took Advil several hours later.

This morning I woke up to muscle soreness throughout my core, sore thighs, and tender biceps. I fully expected my abdomen and lower back to be sore, but the thighs and biceps were a surprise. I guess my body was working extra hard to help me keep the car on the road since the attack came on while I was driving, and all of this soreness is a result of that.

I still feel off. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s almost a hollow feeling. I’m physically and mentally exhausted, but I managed to make it to work early, and I don’t know how I pulled that off. I kinda feel like I’m moving in slow motion, and I feel kinda washed out.

And then there is the guilt. I feel guilty for texting my friend and telling my coworker. Both of them have other stresses in their lives, and I feel like a burden to them.

The friend I texted remained cool under fire, because that’s just how he’s wired. He didn’t panic, or give me any unsolicited advice (until after it was long over), and most importantly, he didn’t feed my fears and allow things to escalate. He’s also up early, so I knew he’d see my message hours before anyone else would. I feel bad for involving him, and I feel bad for making him worry, but he reacted the right way, and that’s why I chose to message him.

So that’s what it’s like. It’s a shock to your system, and it hits you on the physical, mental, and emotional levels, all at the same time. The after-effects can last for hours, or days, depending on how bad the panic was. And those of us who suffer panic attacks usually feel guilty for subjecting our loved ones to it. It’s a thoroughly awful thing.